教育星空  親子之間:家庭教育影響孩...

 親子之間:家庭教育影響孩子 家長責無旁貸

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【新三才首發】兒子最近在學校發生了兩件事,讓我非常體認到家庭教育的重要性。

第一件事,就是他先前三、四年級班上有一個同學,當時是班上的模範生,課業成績好,運動也優秀,人也帥,幾乎整班男生女生都喜歡跟他一起,大家也是好朋友,我三不五時都會聽他回家講這個同學如何如何厲害,感覺也是他們一群小孩的領頭者。結果,才過完一個暑假,五年級開學之後,這位同學被分在不同班級,竟然發生很誇張的事情。

那就是,這位同學在新的班級交了兩位新朋友,三個人彷彿成了校園小霸王三人組,下課時間就到不同的班級,找他們先前這些舊同學講些很粗俗的話來嘲笑、戲弄他們,連他們一些舊同學下課聚再一起聊天或打球,也要受到他們如影隨形的語言騷擾。

剛開始的時候,所有同學都忿忿不平,回罵的回罵,生氣的生氣,兒子也用自己的幽默感回應了他們說:「好了,你們不要再自我介紹了。」或者有時候說:「甚麼?你說甚麼我都沒聽到。」我後來勸導他說就不要去理會他們,這樣的人其實不予理會他們會自討沒趣,除非他們動手欺負同學,那就一定跟老師講,回來也一定要跟我講,否則就忍著隨他們去講吧。

開學至今兩週了,今天兒子回家,還是提到這三位小霸王又晃出來言語攻擊他們。我問他說那你有回應嗎?他說沒有。我又問說那你心裡會生氣嗎?他也搖搖頭。我最後問他說那你當時是啥感覺?兒子很淡定地說:「嗯,我就當作根本沒有人講話就是了。」

是啊,為何一個原本優秀的學生,放個暑假回來完全走樣了呢?既然是暑假期間的轉變,家長可不能再歸責給學校與老師,由此可見家庭教育之重要,不是嗎?

另一件事,就是有一堂下課同學一起打躲避球時,有一次他拿到球,結果一位同學在旁邊跟他說:「廢物,你不會打啦,球丟給我。」兒子說當時他沒跟那位同學有任何爭執,就把球給了他。他還說其實那個同學確實運動神經比他好,所以他也就把球給他丟。

其實,我當下聽到,非常心疼他這樣被口頭霸凌,卻又欣慰他超成熟的處理態度,甚至面對這樣的事,還能不忘稱讚同學的優點,回家跟我講的時候心平氣和,根本不像發生在他身上一樣。這已經不是我平時教導他忍辱負重、和氣待人的品德要求,他已經遠遠超標太高了。我真是又心疼、又驕傲、又感動,就像我一直跟他講的那個韓信般的忍辱負重故事一樣。

因為大家也都才剛開學,升上新的年級,換了新的老師,我想老師都還沒能來得及對學生的行為產生影響或指導,所以,家庭教育,才是真正影響孩子外在所有表現的主要原因。那對比之下,那名言語霸凌人家的同學,跟我兒子相較,又是如何的家庭教育才產生出來的結果呢?我想非常值得大家深思啊。

(作者:張季民)

(責任編輯:姜啟明)

(文章來源:新三才首發)

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