感悟生活 為誰活着(圖)

為誰活着(圖)

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【新三才首發】在網上看了篇帖子,講中國老人和美國老人的區別。其中提到一點,中國的老人好像是為孩子活着,養大了孩子還要去養孫子,付出很多,滿腹委屈,因為和年輕人之間有代溝,覺得年輕人不孝順,讓他們寒心。

想起一位朋友,她是獨生女,很小時爸爸媽媽就離婚了。媽媽一直單身,一個人把她養大。有一次,她媽媽來看她,和我們住在一起。她因為什麼事兒沒聽媽媽的,娘倆兒吵了起來。我印象特別深的,是她媽媽說的一句話:我這大半生就是為你活着……

我也經常思考,人應當為誰活着。想來想去,總覺得人應當為自己活着,為自己負責,而不是把自己的人生強加到任何人身上,哪怕是對子女。說出為誰活着這樣的話,猛一聽,好像很無私,其實是不負責任的。

的確,父母養育子女,其中的艱辛只自己知道。當然,子女應當體諒孝順父母,尤其當父母年邁需要人照顧的時候,做子女的必須有擔當,報答父母的養育之恩。但是,如果將這種本應是最自然的報答扭曲成一種無形的壓力,其中一定有私心。

即便是自己生育的子女,他們也是獨立的生命,有自己的人生之路。成年之後,他們凡事都會有自己的判斷。父母如若還是處處不捨得放手,想控制他們的一言一行,甚至想控制他們如何養育自己的孩子。稍有不滿,就打出“我為你活着”這樣的大棒,便大大有失公平了。說輕了,是愛子心切,關心則亂;說重了,是道德綁架,剝奪子女自由選擇的權利。

子女的人生之路還很長,做父母的需要放手,適時提供一些建議就好,何必那樣揪心折磨自己也折磨子女呢?很多時候,老人的這種思想與他們生活的空虛有關。不知道為誰活着,只知道子女是自己最重要的親人,便有了為子女而活這樣的觀念。人應當有更高的追求,活着是一場修行,一生中酸甜苦辣都嘗過,才能悟到其中的因果,找到生命的歸宿。做到這樣,才是真正為自己負責,沒有白活,而擁有一份豁達的心胸也給子女做了表率。

作者: Jasmine

【新三才首發 轉載請註明出處】

責任編輯:新遠

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