教育星空  亲子之间:家庭教育影响孩...

 亲子之间:家庭教育影响孩子 家长责无旁贷

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【新三才首发】儿子最近在学校发生了两件事,让我非常体认到家庭教育的重要性。

第一件事,就是他先前三、四年级班上有一个同学,当时是班上的模范生,课业成绩好,运动也优秀,人也帅,几乎整班男生女生都喜欢跟他一起,大家也是好朋友,我三不五时都会听他回家讲这个同学如何如何厉害,感觉也是他们一群小孩的领头者。结果,才过完一个暑假,五年级开学之后,这位同学被分在不同班级,竟然发生很夸张的事情。

那就是,这位同学在新的班级交了两位新朋友,三个人仿佛成了校园小霸王三人组,下课时间就到不同的班级,找他们先前这些旧同学讲些很粗俗的话来嘲笑、戏弄他们,连他们一些旧同学下课聚再一起聊天或打球,也要受到他们如影随形的语言骚扰。

刚开始的时候,所有同学都忿忿不平,回骂的回骂,生气的生气,儿子也用自己的幽默感回应了他们说:「好了,你们不要再自我介绍了。」或者有时候说:「甚么?你说甚么我都没听到。」我后来劝导他说就不要去理会他们,这样的人其实不予理会他们会自讨没趣,除非他们动手欺负同学,那就一定跟老师讲,回来也一定要跟我讲,否则就忍着随他们去讲吧。

开学至今两周了,今天儿子回家,还是提到这三位小霸王又晃出来言语攻击他们。我问他说那你有回应吗?他说没有。我又问说那你心里会生气吗?他也摇摇头。我最后问他说那你当时是啥感觉?儿子很淡定地说:「嗯,我就当作根本没有人讲话就是了。」

是啊,为何一个原本优秀的学生,放个暑假回来完全走样了呢?既然是暑假期间的转变,家长可不能再归责给学校与老师,由此可见家庭教育之重要,不是吗?

另一件事,就是有一堂下课同学一起打躲避球时,有一次他拿到球,结果一位同学在旁边跟他说:「废物,你不会打啦,球丢给我。」儿子说当时他没跟那位同学有任何争执,就把球给了他。他还说其实那个同学确实运动神经比他好,所以他也就把球给他丢。

其实,我当下听到,非常心疼他这样被口头霸凌,却又欣慰他超成熟的处理态度,甚至面对这样的事,还能不忘称赞同学的优点,回家跟我讲的时候心平气和,根本不像发生在他身上一样。这已经不是我平时教导他忍辱负重、和气待人的品德要求,他已经远远超标太高了。我真是又心疼、又骄傲、又感动,就像我一直跟他讲的那个韩信般的忍辱负重故事一样。

因为大家也都才刚开学,升上新的年级,换了新的老师,我想老师都还没能来得及对学生的行为产生影响或指导,所以,家庭教育,才是真正影响孩子外在所有表现的主要原因。那对比之下,那名言语霸凌人家的同学,跟我儿子相较,又是如何的家庭教育才产生出来的结果呢?我想非常值得大家深思啊。

(作者:张季民)

(责任编辑:姜启明)

(文章来源:新三才首发)

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